Change the Channel: How to Overcome Social Anxiety
Social Anxiety is a horror movie rerun in our head.
The plot is the same. We’re failing publicly because we’re too stupid, not attractive, too weird, or too boring.
And the more we watch that movie, the more afraid we get; we run and miss opportunities.
But just as focusing on future failure fuels fear, remembering our past victories builds confidence.
Here’s how to change the channel.
Create a Highlight Reel of Your Wins
Social Anxiety has failure on replay. But the best content for our minds is our victory -- no matter how seemingly small. Every day, pick one easy step of courage. Here are some examples:
| Sharing Ideas & Opinions | Comment on a social media post Post something you learned on social media Post an idea or side project on social media |
|---|---|
| Meeting New People | Introduce yourself to someone online Attend a virtual meetup and introduce yourself Attend an in-person meetup and introduce yourself |
| Go to a Social Event | Attend a virtual meet up Attend an in person meetup Go to lunch with someone |
| Speaking in Public | Ask a question in a meeting Post a video of you sharing an idea or side project Post a video of you sharing something you learned |
| Talking to People | Call someone you know well Call a business and ask a question Send a message to someone online |
The next part is key. After you take your step, capture your success. Write down your answer to this question:
“What was the best part about doing this?”
Dig deep. Snap pictures, take videos -- anything to document your win. If Social Anxiety shows us an HD horror movie, we’ll build one of our own. This is your highlight reel.
Watch Your Highlight Reel to Build Confidence
I can’t say it enough. Focusing on future failures fuels fear. But remembering past victories builds confidence.
It’s not enough to have a highlight reel sitting around collecting dust. We have to use it.
Read over your highlights as much as you can. Read them in the morning, afternoon, and night. Read them when you’re anxious or calm.
When your highlights are in your head, confidence will be in your heart.
Push Yourself for Bigger Highlights
To continue to overcome Social Anxiety, we’ll need to push ourselves to grow. But it’s a marathon, not a sprint.
Anyone can have a burst of courage. True confidence is built through consistency.
First, focus on taking your one easy step daily. And when you get consistent at that, increase the duration and the difficulty. Here’s an example progression.
| Level 1 | 1 easy step |
3 days |
|---|---|---|
| Level 2 | 1 easy step |
5 days |
| Level 3 | 1 easy step |
7 days |
| Level 4 | 2 easy steps |
10 days |
| Level 5 | 2 easy steps |
14 days |
After you complete a level, be sure to celebrate somehow. No win is too small -- you’re overcoming Social Anxiety! Celebrating your wins also keeps you motivated, which is just what we’ll need for the next level.
Your Turn
Social Anxiety may be a horror movie rerun, but we can change the channel. Create a highlight reel of your wins, watch it constantly to build confidence, and push yourself to grow.
When your highlights are in your head, confidence will be in your heart.
Here’s my challenge to you. Try this for a week and comment here with how it went. I can’t wait to hear from you!
Love,
-T.O
