30 under 30: Social Anxiety Lessons I Learned Before My 30th
Dear friend,
Yesterday was actually a special day for me.
I turned 30.
So in honor of that, here are 30 lessons I’ve learned about Social Anxiety. I call it, “30 under 30”.
1. Specific Gratitude kills anxiety
Chasing approval fuels Social Anxiety, but courage comes from appreciating past success.
2. It’s a Mind Game
The battle of Social Anxiety starts in your mind. Be ready.
3. Replace your thoughts
You can’t just “stop thinking about it”. Specific gratitude is the best replacement I've found.
4. Eat right
Food gives energy to exercise, gratitude gives energy to crush anxiety.
5. Chew your food
Slowly read over your gratitude list in the morning. Focus on the WHY.
6. True gratitude can take work
Sometimes you have to force feed. But it pays dividends.
7. Vague gratitude is empty calories
Let your gratitude be as specific as your anxiety.
8. Drink Responsibly.
Seeking approval is fine in moderation. Excess kills.
9. Know Your TV Reruns
When you’re anxious, write down your location, time of day, and your thoughts. You’ll start seeing the future.
10. The Approval Paradox
If I chase your approval, you’ll never approve of the real me.
11. Courage builds like a muscle
The more you use it, the easier it gets.
12. Take small steps
Small wins → Confidence → Bigger Win. It’s a success spiral.
13. All steps warrant celebration
Write down your wins and celebrate them each morning.
14. There’s no right time
If you wait for the right time to share in a conversation, you won’t.
15. Just show up
It’s over half the battle. And it usually leads to another step.
16. Good news, bad news
Sharing is tougher for you. But when you share, it’ll mean more to you than someone who doesn’t struggle.
17. It’s not about you
Making great conversation is about making people feel heard. You might not have to do as much as you thought.
18. The Cheat Code
If you struggle to talk about your life, asking questions gives you a built-in chance. People often redirect your question.
19. Break the Ice
When meeting people for the first time, ask them why they chose their career and try to guess it. Trust me.
20. Write, then talk
It can make you more articulate. But don’t over rehearse. Stay human.
21. Track your growth
Overcoming anxiety is a long slog. Growth motivates.
22. Throw a party.
Plan a personal celebration when you hit a milestone.
23. Beat Yourself.
You’re only in a race against one person. Other people might not struggle with Social Anxiety, but everyone has one.
24. Bae Boost
Being in a relationship forces your courage to grow faster. Thanks babe.
25. Don’t Run
The regret can feel worse than going. When we avoid, we feel a void.
26. Give Yourself Grace
Not every day can be a home run.
27. Perfect Your Form
Take steps consistently before upping your weight. Overcoming Social Anxiety is a marathon, not a sprint
28. Authenticity Attracts
People who are unapologetically themselves are magnets.
29. Vulnerability Exchanges
It’s easier to share around vulnerable people. Value them.
30. You can change
The same guy who hid in the bathroom in high school can be the guy who writes to help people with Social Anxiety.
That’s all folks. I hope this helped you.
Love,
-T.O.
P.S: Which lesson did you resonate with most? What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned? Drop me a line in the comments.